


Humanity Can Be Beautiful

by FanofmanyFandoms (Majorwhovian)



Category: Purple Hyacinth - Ephemerys & Sophism (Webcomic)
Genre: Art, F/M, Fluff, Humanity, I'm in Spain but the 'S' is silent, Kieran has no ass, Monster - Freeform, Sketching, inner thoughts, sleeping Lauren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:47:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29641125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Majorwhovian/pseuds/FanofmanyFandoms
Summary: Takes place between episode 37 and 38. Kieran makes his second sketch of Lauren and reflects on the changes in their relationship.
Relationships: Lauren Sinclair/Kieran White
Comments: 1
Kudos: 46





	Humanity Can Be Beautiful

It took longer than he expected to clean the blood up off the floor. Late nights were no stranger to Kieran, of course, but he doubted his ability to sleep even if he _was_ a little tired. Plenty of questions filled his head, and he was no closer to answering them than he had been an hour ago. 

Once the bucket and washrags were put away, Kieran rummaged around for the crutch he’d used the last time he’d been the one in need of stitches. Lauren could probably use it when she woke up.

_Lauren._

Yes, _that_ Lauren. The Lauren currently dressed in _his shirt_ sleeping in _his bed._ His eyes darted over to the closed bedroom door for the umpteenth time. If he popped in to leave the crutch while she was still awake, she would no doubt make a feeble attempt to break any one of his limbs. He could envision her snatching up one of his books and tossing it at his head the second the door cracked open. The thought made him smile wryly to himself. 

He waited another half hour before making his way over to the bedroom and pressing his ear up against the door. There was no snoring or stirring that he could pick out, so he slowly turned the knob and cracked the door open. The moonlight streamed through the window, just bright enough that he could make out the shape of the bed and its occupant without trouble. The lump on the mattress made no threatening moves, and he quietly pushed the door fully open and stepped inside.

Lauren was completely asleep. And here he was, thinking the woman was immune to such pathetic need for nightly recuperation. There was no denying it; Lauren was a wonder. 

Kieran walked into the room on socked feet and gently leaned the crutch up against the wall by the door. She would spot it when she woke up. The mission was done, and there wasn’t anymore reason to stay in the room, but Kieran took one more step closer to the bed. 

The sheets draped over Lauren’s subtle curves that her uniform managed to hide very well, and Kieran took a moment and just watched her sides rise and fall with every rhythmic breath. 

Her face was completely relaxed and at peace, one of the few times he had ever seen her like that. His mind flitted back to all the previous moments when she’d looked like this, surprised at how easily each picture flashed to the forefront of his memory. 

_“Have you ever felt that tinge of warmth...when you see those subtle moments in life that remind you humanity can be beautiful?”_

_Beautiful._

As he looked down at his sleeping partner, Kieran couldn’t think of a better word to describe the scene before him. The thought had entered his mind before, but he was painfully aware how much he could not entertain that line of thought. 

It wasn’t a matter of couldn’t: it was the fact that he _wouldn’t._

No, there were some things in life that he just wouldn’t allow himself to indulge in - things he didn’t deserve. The very fact that the thought had entered his head was a crime in and of itself. 

He left the room.

The clocked ticked onward and sleep certainly wasn’t going to come for him out on that couch. Instead, Kieran turned to the side room and quietly unlocked the door. That same moonlight that had bathed Lauren’s figure a moment before cast shadows on the little desk that was his secret sanctuary. He snapped the side lamp on and sat down at the place where he felt the most human.

His pencil started to move on its own. He drew her eyes first, just the way he remembered first seeing them. The rest of her face quickly followed. Her jaw, her brows, the curve of her lips in the slightest hint of a smile. He had to smile back as he sketched the rogue strands of red hair that always managed to flop down in the center of her face or eyes. 

_Beautiful._

He remembered the evening well. Harvey had just died, and he’d promised to try and find who killed the young officer. The responding look on her face was the moment he chose to capture on paper. The rest of the conversation moved to just business. They discussed their next caper, which had turned out to be the one Lauren had tried to commit suicide on by jumping out of a window, and Kieran chuckled when he recalled the look on her face when he pulled out the housekeeper’s dress. 

_“You’ve got to be kidding me, Kieran.”_

_“I’m completely serious.”_

_“I’m not wearing that.”_

_“Oh, come on. I got the latest style, just for you.”_

She was just as quick on her tongue as she was on her feet. He’d met his match indeed. Kieran stared at the finished sketch for a few minutes before his eyes skirted over to the last drawing he’d made that included Lauren Sinclair.

This one was quite different from the sketch he’d made that night. She wasn’t smiling in that picture. No, instead of a smile, she was staring up at him while he pressed the blade of his sword to her throat. The question he scrawled on the corner of the page remained unanswered.

_Why did I freeze?_

He didn’t know, just like he didn’t know how he’d ended up here tonight, with her sleeping in his bedroom.

_“A handsome paradox, am I not?”_

Paradox was the right word.

Kieran turned out the lamp and left the room, making sure to lock it behind him. Knowing Lauren, her curiosity would drive her to snoop if she woke up before he returned. Forget that the room wasn't meant for any eyes but his own, he had no intention of finding out what Lauren's reaction would be if she found pictures of herself tacked up in his apartment.

Assassin? Yes. Creepy perverted stalker? No, not at all.

It would take a while to retrieve Lauren’s bag from the cave, and he certainly wasn’t to get any sleep on the couch. 

He might not be able to figure his thoughts tonight, or maybe even tomorrow. But the fact of the matter was clear: Lauren Sinclair made him, Kieran White, feel human again. 

It shouldn’t even be possible, not with the amount of blood on his hands, but he could not deny the truth. It had been so long since he’d felt that way. The face that was framed so predominately in his sketch room filled his eyes as he closed the door of his apartment behind him. 

How was it that Lauren had the same effect on him? 

The concept of God or fate was laughable to him for the most part. It was so much easier to believe that death and evil and chance made this world go round.

But what if that wasn’t the case?

What if the world ran on something else?

Kieran pulled his jacket over his shoulders and let himself smile, if for no other reason other than he could. He put his hands in his jacket pocket and his fingers brushed against the sharp edge of paper.

He pulled out the small note and his smile immediately faded.

_“Time to go to church.”_

The cave would have to be his second stop of the morning. Kieran tucked all thoughts of beauty, humanity, and Lauren back into the mental compartment where he kept everything else that made him smile. 

Maybe one day he could return to that line of thinking, but right now, the devil wanted him to dance again, and he didn’t have the pleasure of saying no. 


End file.
